Eight-year-old Mikey is a behavioral challenge for most teachers.
He struggles with emotional dysregulation—a nervous system that doesn’t yet know how to tame big emotions.
His challenges stem from a past filled with adversity: being removed from his biological home as a toddler, navigating a foster care placement that ended in divorce, and being adopted by a single mother who works full time and is exhausted most of the time.
Mikey spends most of his day in a special education classroom filled with other children facing unique struggles. His teacher is overwhelmed. “I’m afraid of him,” she confides, “I don’t want to get hurt.”
Her tools for managing Mikey include sticker charts, candy rewards, fidget toys, and a protective iPad case—all designed to coax compliance out of him.
“Do you think these tasks are meaningful for him?” I ask one day. She looks like she might cry. “No,” she admits. “But what else can I do?”
Nature as a Buffer in Chaos
The chaos surrounding Mikey is far from unique. Children like him often find themselves in environments where regulation is more demanded than taught, where compliance is valued over connection. Yet what I’ve seen time and again is this: nature can be a buffer against chaos. It offers stability when relationships feel shaky, providing rhythms and predictability that soothe a child’s overwhelmed nervous system.
I started taking Mikey to the school garden—a modest patch of green bordered by a chain-link fence and anchored by an old mulberry tree. On the way, I would sing to him, “When the red red robin comes bob, bob, bobbin’ along!” He smiled when I sang.
At first, Mikey darted around the garden like a pinball, flipping stones and tugging at tree branches. Instead of correcting him, I joined in the rhythm of his curiosity, narrating for the plants and trees. “Oh, Mikey,” I said as he grabbed a kale leaf, “please hold me softer so I can keep growing and give you food.” He giggled, and a game of playful reverence unfolded between us. Over time, Mikey’s movements softened. He began touching leaves gently, listening for the robin’s song, and finding moments of calm in the garden.
Nature’s rhythms, like birdsong, naturally draw us into their steady cadence. Research even shows that the patterns in birdsong share similarities with human music, engaging parts of the brain that regulate emotions.
The Science of Entrainment and Relational Regulation
What was happening with Mikey wasn’t just anecdotal—it was entrainment and relational regulation in action.
Entrainment
occurs when our internal rhythms, like heart rate and breathing, sync with external patterns. Nature’s consistent and predictable stimuli, like the sway of a tree or the call of a bird, naturally entrain the nervous system. It’s why just 10 minutes in a natural setting can reduce cortisol levels and help a dysregulated brain reset.
Relational Regulation
builds on this by anchoring emotional well-being in connection. When I mirrored calmness and curiosity in the garden, Mikey’s nervous system began to align with mine. It wasn’t about commanding compliance; it was about offering a relational-regulating presence. Together, we created an environment where Mikey’s nervous system could feel safe enough to first calm, then explore and grow.
When Chaos Creeps Back
But regulation isn’t a linear journey. One day, I arrived at Mikey’s classroom to find books thrown, papers ripped, and chairs overturned. His teacher stood outside, exasperated. “Hey, Mikey,” I called quietly as I peeked in the door. He turned, his face red with frustration, and stormed past me. “Are we going to see the red red robin?” he shouted.
The garden had become more than a place for exploration—it was a sanctuary. And the robin wasn’t just a bird; it was a symbol of calm and connection, a touchstone Mikey could hold onto when his world felt overwhelming.
The Ripple Effect of Nature’s Influence
Months later, I attended Mikey’s annual Individualized Educational meeting. His adoptive mother walked in, tired but determined. She looked me over and asked, “So you’re the bird lady?” I laughed, unsure of her tone. Then her voice softened. “I’ve got you to thank.”
She explained how Mikey, during a particularly tense moment at home, had surprised her. Instead of throwing a tantrum when denied his favorite video game, he clenched his fists, turned red, and then said, “Mama, I’m going to look for the red red robin.” Her voice cracked as she finished the story. “Who would’ve guessed the damn birds would be the thing?”
Why Nature Works
Mikey’s story highlights what research confirms: nature offers a protective and compensatory experience for children, especially those exposed to adversity and suffering from dysregulation. It acts as a steady relational-regulator, providing predictable rhythms when human relationships falter. Birds, in particular, have a unique ability to engage children. A recent study found that birdsong was among the natural sounds most effective at reducing stress and restoring focus.
Nature also invites healthy risk-taking. For Mikey, climbing a rock or turning over a log wasn’t just play—it was reprogramming his brain’s predictions about the world. Each small success built his capacity to trust his ability and the safety of his environment and eventually be able to navigate larger challenges.
How to Foster NatureLed Regulation
Create opportunities for children to experience nature’s steady rhythms. Even a small patch of green space, noting daily where the moon is in the sky, or a few minutes listening to birds can help reset their nervous system.
-
Prioritize Connection Over Compliance
Children like Mikey don’t need more commands—they need connection. By showing up with calmness and curiosity, we give their nervous systems something new and grounding to sync with.
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Embrace the Power of Play
Let children explore freely, take healthy risks, and engage with their environment. These moments aren’t just play; they’re essential for emotional and neurological development.
A Call to Action
What if we stopped trying to make children fit into rigid systems and instead created environments that support their natural curiosity and abilities? What if we embraced nature not just as a backdrop, but as a partner in helping children thrive?
Mikey’s story reminds us that regulation isn’t something we demand—it’s something we co-create. When we invite children to connect with the rhythms of nature in the presence of calm caregivers, we give them the tools to navigate a chaotic world.
Because when children feel safe and supported, they don’t just survive—they thrive. And sometimes, all it takes is a red red robin.
References
- Boyce, W. T., & Ellis, B. J. (2005). Biological sensitivity to context: I. An evolutionary-developmental theory of the origins and functions of stress reactivity. Development and Psychopathology, 17(2), 271–301. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579405050145
- Evans, G. W., & Wachs, T. D. (Eds.). (2010). Chaos and its influence on children’s development: An ecological perspective. American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/12057-000
- Ferraro, D. M., & Kobayashi, R. (2020). The phantom chorus: birdsong boosts human well-being in protected areas. Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences.
- Helm, R. R., Tyberghein, L., & Margres, M. J. (2019). Environmental entrainment demonstrates natural circadian rhythmicity in the sea anemone Nematostella vectensis. The Journal of Experimental Biology, 222(21), jeb205393. https://doi.org/10.1242/jeb.205393
- Kringelbach, M. L., & Bressler, S. L. (2023). On natural attunement: Shared rhythms between the brain and the environment. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 146, 105085. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2023.105085
- Touloumakos, A. K., & Barrable, A. (2020). Adverse Childhood Experiences: The Protective and Therapeutic Potential of Nature. Frontiers in psychology, 11, 597935. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.597935
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