A child’s job is to grow, learn, and make sense of the world.
This process, called embodied understanding, happens through sensory-motor experiences
—touching, smelling, hearing, tasting, balancing, and feeling their way through life.
These moments are not trivial; they are the building blocks of a healthy brain and body.
Yet today’s fast-paced, overly structured culture often makes it difficult for children to engage in the activities they need for growth. Too often, children are met with a firm “no” instead of the life-affirming “yes” they crave. Don’t touch, stop running, sit still, don’t climb up the slide, stop jumping on the couch, are all phrases that tell a child “no.” Society quietly reinforces the idea that exploration is inconvenient, messy, or inappropriate.
Here’s the misconception: many worry that saying “yes” more often will create wild, unruly children. But the reality is quite the opposite. When children’s sensory and emotional needs are met, they are better equipped to handle frustration, develop resilience, and respect boundaries.
By shifting our cultural mindset and creating emotionally safe spaces for exploration, we can foster the kind of growth that builds confidence, curiosity, and lifelong learning.
The Harm of “No”
Yesterday, I witnessed a familiar and heartbreaking scene in a store. A mother and her two children were shopping. The younger child sat quietly in the cart, while the older boy, about six, trailed behind, gently touching items on the shelves. Each time he reached out, his curiosity was met with a sharp “no don’t touch.”
The boy wasn’t breaking anything or causing harm—he was exploring. For him, the store was a playground of textures, shapes, and sensations. His tactile exploration wasn’t misbehavior; it was learning. Yet societal norms often put children like him in a no-win situation: be still, be quiet, don’t touch.
Every “no” chips away at a child’s natural drive to explore and process the world. Over time, this constant dismissal can lead to disengagement—not just from their surroundings but also from their natural curiosity and joy.
This disengagement has far-reaching effects. Children who are repeatedly denied the chance to explore struggle to develop critical skills like emotional regulation, attention, and resilience.
The Role of Culture in Exploration
It’s not just parents saying “no”—it’s cultural attitudes that frame exploration as inconvenient or disruptive. Parents who allow their children to explore in public often face judgmental looks or comments, reinforcing the idea that children should be silent, obedient, and invisible.
This needs to change.
Society must recognize that a child’s curiosity isn’t a nuisance—it’s essential for their development.
Imagine a world where:
- Strangers smile kindly at a child exploring their environment.
- Parks are designed to encourage climbing, balancing, and tactile play.
- Schools prioritize outdoor sensory play as much as academics.
These shifts in attitude and infrastructure would create an emotionally safe environment where children can engage their curiosity and parents feel supported in saying “yes” more often.
Why Exploration Matters
Exploration is not just play—it’s how children build the foundation for learning and emotional regulation. Sensory experiences, particularly through touch, balance, and body awareness, help children make sense of their world and integrate their surroundings into a coherent neurological map.
For example:
Touching a textured surface: Teaches lessons about friction, pressure, and material differences.
Climbing a tree: Develops balance, risk assessment, and problem-solving skills.
Listening to birdsong: Sharpens auditory focus, the ability to tune out background noise and connection to the environment.
These seemingly simple experiences are vital for brain development. Neuroscientists call this process neurological integration—the brain’s ability to process and organize sensory input into meaningful patterns.
Saying “Yes” Reduces Negative Behaviors
A common fear is that saying “yes” will create entitled, unruly children. In reality, the opposite is true. When children’s developmental needs—like tactile exploration and sensory engagement—are met, they are less likely to act out.
Children who are allowed to explore learn to regulate their emotions through connection, a process I termed relational regulation. When their curiosity is supported, they feel secure, confident, and ready to handle challenges. This also makes them more receptive when it’s necessary to hear “no,” as they trust that boundaries are fair and consistent.
Saying “yes” isn’t about letting children do whatever they want. It’s about creating a balance where their natural developmental needs are honored, so boundaries feel supportive rather than restrictive.
How Nature Helps
A child’s brain and body are primed by millions of years of evolution to thrive in the natural world.
Nature is where their instincts for curiosity, exploration, and growth come alive. Given just a little freedom and encouragement, children will climb trees, roll in the grass, and immerse themselves in the rhythms of the outdoors. Unlike indoor spaces, which often impose constraints and judgments, nature offers an open invitation to explore and engage with the world as it was meant to be experienced. Here, a child climbing a tree is building strength and confidence, not breaking rules. A child rolling in the grass is celebrated, not scolded.
Nature also supports relational regulation. The gentle sway of trees, the sound of birds, and the feel of the earth underfoot have a calming, grounding effect that helps children—and adults—navigate emotions and stress. Nature provides the freedom children need to fulfill their evolutionary blueprint for learning and growth.
Changing the Culture
To foster a world where children thrive, we must change our cultural narrative about exploration
and support parents in saying “yes.” Here’s how to begin:
When you see a child exploring, instead of a glare, offer a smile or share a story of your childhood explorations. Remember that their curiosity is a sign of healthy development, not a lack of discipline.
Public spaces can become exploration-friendly with a few simple changes:
Businesses: Create “yes zones” where children can safely engage with exploration.
Parks: Design natural areas and zones specifically for tactile, balance, and climbing activities.
Share research on the importance of sensory exploration with other parents, caregivers, and educators. Help them understand that saying “yes” is an investment in a child’s growth and resilience— and the community’s future.
Support policies and initiatives that prioritize outdoor play in schools and communities. Advocate for NatureLed learning, outdoor classrooms, and recess as essential components of education.
A Call to Say “Yes”
Every time we say “yes” to exploration—yes to mud, to climbing trees, to touching leaves—we’re saying “yes” to a future where children are resilient, curious, and deeply connected to themselves, each other and their world.
Saying “yes” isn’t just about fostering curiosity—it’s about nurturing confidence, building skills, and creating a foundation for lifelong learning.
Let’s create a culture that values curiosity over compliance, engagement over obedience, and connection over control.
Imagine a world where children are free to explore, parents are supported, and society celebrates curiosity. Together, we can build that world—one “yes” at a time.
Want to learn more?
Enroll in our mini course: NatureLed Parents
Are you an occupational therapist or other professional interested in bringing this intervention to your clients? Check out our NatureLed for professionals.
Or, purchase [BOOK LINK]
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